Anyways, this was supposed to be my work rant, but I really don't know where to start because I have 2 years worth of blog posts built up inside me. (And that's just from this job.) I'm really glad I like complaining about idiots over 3am cigarettes and coffee at ihop with my friends who also work retail and laugh about said customers as they're storming out the door in a huff, or else I would have probably put a bullet in my brain by now. I feel like that's a run on sentence, but I really don't care right now.
I guess that is the main reason I like my job (which it's probably safer if I don't mention it, but let's just say it's a pharmacy you have more than likely been to at least once in your life). Being the awesome associate that I am, I've pretty much built up immunity and get into zero trouble for giving customers shit. I've only ever gotten pointless complaints ("OMG! She was ringing somebody up and told me to hang on a second when I tried to ask her a question. What a rude little bitch."), so my superiors don't even sweat it anymore. I'm very efficient and get a lot more done than everyone who works there, so they're okay with me having little spats with rude customers.
The above
"Thanks for calling [bleep]. This is Alicia, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I called the other store to see if they had any of the Fiber One that is buy one get one free this week and they didn't have it, so I was wondering if you guys did."
"Sure, just hang on a second and I'll check the shelf. [put the dude on hold and run over to look] No, sorry, sir. We actually don't even carry Fiber One anymore, there isn't even a shelf space for it."
"Well, I don't understand. The other store has it, they said I should check back there on friday when they get their shipments in."
"Yeah, you're probably better off doing that because it's not in our planogram at all."
"I don't understand why you don't have it, there's even a picture of it in the ad."
"Right, but that ad is for all of our stores in the entire country, everyone's merchandise is a little bit different. Our store is also smaller than the other store you called, they have a lot more variety than we do."
"I really don't understand why you don't have it. Can you special order it for me?"
"We really don't like to do that because we have no guarantee that you will come pick it up and then we're stuck with a product we don't carry."
"But I will come pick it up, I don't understand why ('I don't understand why' is every stupid person's catch phrase) you can't just order it for me."
"Well, sir, even if I did it wouldn't get here until the saturday after next by which time the other store would have it in stock."
"I really don't understand why you're being such a little bitch right now. I want to speak to your manager."
"Sure! Thanks for calling."
Of course the twat at hung up before she got to the phone. I hate people. (That is the condensed version of that argument, it went on for a good 20 minutes with him repeating the same questions over and over again. Also, yes, I really like parenthesis.)
To wrap this post up, I'm going to leave you guys with some of my biggest pet peeves to help you be better customers.
My biggest one is people who put their baskets on the counter and don't take their purchases out. This may not seem like a big deal to people, so as long as you put your basket back where you found it and are nice, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. In actually though, it's really uncomfortable for me because people almost always leave their wallets and things in there and I feel like I'm invading their space. It also make me think you're fucking lazy and rude because really, did I put 83849384 items in that basket? You put them in there, you can take them out. I'm not your slave, people. I'm also at a really awkward height to the basket, which just makes it weird for me to take stuff out. I always make sure to thank people who empty their baskets and put them on the counter because I really do appreciate it.
Secondly, I don't understand why people leave their shopping carts right in front of the register when they're about to leave. They go RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR THAT YOU WALK OUT OF, but instead you're gonna make me walk all the way around the counter to go push it away because everyone who comes up to the register after you runs into it. It amazes me when they even walk into it as they're leaving the store and don't think about moving it. I understand it if you have a lot to carry or whatever, but I've seen the oldest, most crippled people return their carts before, so I'm sure you can handle it.
The third, and finally one for today is people who ask me a question when I'm ringing someone else up, especially when I'm counting change. Just... really? Were you really raised to think you're the most important being on this god damn earth that you can't wait ONE minute to ask me where the toothbrushes are? Which by the way are in aisle 12 with the big ass sign saying TOOTHBRUSHES above it, that you can easily see from the door. I've been at my store so long that I can give you exact directions to almost anything in my sleep (hell, my mom even calls me when she can't find something), but I just find it rude. Just today I was handing a lady back eightysomething dollars in change and I'm trying to not fuck that up as some guy yells a question at me. I understand that you don't want to wait in line just to ask me question (which some people do and I find that sweet, but it's totally unnecessary), but at least wait until I'm between customers or when I'm not talking to them.
To keep my sanity, I do little things to get back at rude people, like not ask them if they want their receipt in or out of the bag and just stuff it in there. Or when they leave their baskets in front of me, I'll deliberatley and loudly throw it on the floor, hoping they'll hear it. It's my little "fuck you" to them. I know it's stupid, but it makes me feel better.
This post does not even begin to cover the stupidity of manhood, but I'm stopping it here. xx
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