Saturday, November 14, 2009

Peer pressure... PEER PRESSURE!

Sometimes we do things for our significant others that we once saw as taboo, or a thing to make fun of.

What makes us feel that way about it is something that can, apparently, change from time to time.

I've just done one of them.
After spending the last few years ruthlessly making fun of people who play World of Warcraft, and even trying a different MMO just to prove the point, I've succumb to the peer pressure (of not only Mikey, but also my damn roommates, though we're on different servers so I can play with Mikey), and purchased World of Warcraft.

I still attest that I will not be sucked in. We will see.

Blame him.
it's all that kandi.
(which are drugs, right BAF? idiots.)

On the topic of musical genius
I'm trying to figure out why I like Das Racist so much.
Mostly just the remixes though.
(On their myspace, check out the "Shorty Said" remix at the bottom of the music player thingie)
Their repetition seems to amuse me, and I don't know why.
Their lyrics seem to amuse me, and I don't know why.
In Shorty Said, their odd cultural references amuse me.

I'm probably just starving for weird, new music.
DJ Barletta (Deeeeeeliaaaaaaa) did an amusing remix of Taco Bell / Pizza Hut, but it wasn't quite up to what I was expecting. Though not bad.

I've also been listening to a lot of Dubstep lately, which seems to serve only to wake up my neighbors, squick my boyfriend (see above), and dishearten my Would-Be DJ Partner in Crime (were I to ever buckle down and really get serious about DJing again. I'm trying, damnit)

The boyfriend has also done a good job of completely disrupting my tastes in things, as I've also recently begun listening to UK and Happy Hardcore, another one of those evils I'd sworn off years ago. Though this has not by any means replaced my adoration for Electro House or Breakbeat. Thank god.

In conclusion
Who wants to buy me a ticket to Boston? D: pleeeeaaaase I don't mind the new additions.
I just wish I hadn't spent so long making fun of them. Pride swallowing, and what not.

Also: I'm quitting smoking on Monday.
I'd like to take this moment to wish you all good luck in dealing with me for the month that follows.

- SpottyCat

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Stupid People: Retail Edition #1

I don't understand why a good electro house mix, listened to with a decent pair of headphones makes me feel so incredibly content. A cold beer after a long day at work isn't too bad either. I guess it really is the simple things in life.

Anyways, this was supposed to be my work rant, but I really don't know where to start because I have 2 years worth of blog posts built up inside me. (And that's just from this job.) I'm really glad I like complaining about idiots over 3am cigarettes and coffee at ihop with my friends who also work retail and laugh about said customers as they're storming out the door in a huff, or else I would have probably put a bullet in my brain by now. I feel like that's a run on sentence, but I really don't care right now.

I guess that is the main reason I like my job (which it's probably safer if I don't mention it, but let's just say it's a pharmacy you have more than likely been to at least once in your life). Being the awesome associate that I am, I've pretty much built up immunity and get into zero trouble for giving customers shit. I've only ever gotten pointless complaints ("OMG! She was ringing somebody up and told me to hang on a second when I tried to ask her a question. What a rude little bitch."), so my superiors don't even sweat it anymore. I'm very efficient and get a lot more done than everyone who works there, so they're okay with me having little spats with rude customers.

The above made up quote made me remember when some guy who called with a question about (for the sake of the story because I really don't remember what kind it was) Fiber One cereal actually did call me a bitch. I still laugh about it to this day. The conversation went something like this.

"Thanks for calling [bleep]. This is Alicia, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I called the other store to see if they had any of the Fiber One that is buy one get one free this week and they didn't have it, so I was wondering if you guys did."
"Sure, just hang on a second and I'll check the shelf. [put the dude on hold and run over to look] No, sorry, sir. We actually don't even carry Fiber One anymore, there isn't even a shelf space for it."
"Well, I don't understand. The other store has it, they said I should check back there on friday when they get their shipments in."
"Yeah, you're probably better off doing that because it's not in our planogram at all."
"I don't understand why you don't have it, there's even a picture of it in the ad."
"Right, but that ad is for all of our stores in the entire country, everyone's merchandise is a little bit different. Our store is also smaller than the other store you called, they have a lot more variety than we do."
"I really don't understand why you don't have it. Can you special order it for me?"
"We really don't like to do that because we have no guarantee that you will come pick it up and then we're stuck with a product we don't carry."
"But I will come pick it up, I don't understand why ('I don't understand why' is every stupid person's catch phrase) you can't just order it for me."
"Well, sir, even if I did it wouldn't get here until the saturday after next by which time the other store would have it in stock."
"I really don't understand why you're being such a little bitch right now. I want to speak to your manager."
"Sure! Thanks for calling."

Of course the twat at hung up before she got to the phone. I hate people. (That is the condensed version of that argument, it went on for a good 20 minutes with him repeating the same questions over and over again. Also, yes, I really like parenthesis.)

To wrap this post up, I'm going to leave you guys with some of my biggest pet peeves to help you be better customers.

My biggest one is people who put their baskets on the counter and don't take their purchases out. This may not seem like a big deal to people, so as long as you put your basket back where you found it and are nice, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. In actually though, it's really uncomfortable for me because people almost always leave their wallets and things in there and I feel like I'm invading their space. It also make me think you're fucking lazy and rude because really, did I put 83849384 items in that basket? You put them in there, you can take them out. I'm not your slave, people. I'm also at a really awkward height to the basket, which just makes it weird for me to take stuff out. I always make sure to thank people who empty their baskets and put them on the counter because I really do appreciate it.

Secondly, I don't understand why people leave their shopping carts right in front of the register when they're about to leave. They go RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR THAT YOU WALK OUT OF, but instead you're gonna make me walk all the way around the counter to go push it away because everyone who comes up to the register after you runs into it. It amazes me when they even walk into it as they're leaving the store and don't think about moving it. I understand it if you have a lot to carry or whatever, but I've seen the oldest, most crippled people return their carts before, so I'm sure you can handle it.

The third, and finally one for today is people who ask me a question when I'm ringing someone else up, especially when I'm counting change. Just... really? Were you really raised to think you're the most important being on this god damn earth that you can't wait ONE minute to ask me where the toothbrushes are? Which by the way are in aisle 12 with the big ass sign saying TOOTHBRUSHES above it, that you can easily see from the door. I've been at my store so long that I can give you exact directions to almost anything in my sleep (hell, my mom even calls me when she can't find something), but I just find it rude. Just today I was handing a lady back eightysomething dollars in change and I'm trying to not fuck that up as some guy yells a question at me. I understand that you don't want to wait in line just to ask me question (which some people do and I find that sweet, but it's totally unnecessary), but at least wait until I'm between customers or when I'm not talking to them.

To keep my sanity, I do little things to get back at rude people, like not ask them if they want their receipt in or out of the bag and just stuff it in there. Or when they leave their baskets in front of me, I'll deliberatley and loudly throw it on the floor, hoping they'll hear it. It's my little "fuck you" to them. I know it's stupid, but it makes me feel better.

This post does not even begin to cover the stupidity of manhood, but I'm stopping it here. xx

Wurlitzer Organs n' Shit

The subject of this post makes about as much sense as the title of this blog no sense at all... (but that's why I'm here.)

So I have this issue
It's not with anything in particular, really. I just have issues.
I think the one I'm thinking about right now relates to my problems with blogging...
Not that I disagree with it on principle or anything...

I just suck at doing it.

Occasionally I come up with this really baller1 idea that I want to share, or a story, and then it's all gravy... but most of the time I just braindump silly shit.
And then there's the inbetween periods where I do nothing for ages. My LJ2 friends can tell you all about that one. And to a lesser extent, my Twitter followers as well.
Though with the advent of convenient AdobeAIR apps, I find myself much more inclinced to tweet than to load up Semagic and write an actual journal entry out for LJ.

Whenever I do come up with a good idea though, it's usually ridiculously long and has a lot of inline images because, for some reason, I feel like those help.

But that seems to draw people in more than the little Quick Burst posting that occurs most of the time (Save for twitter, that's sort of their business model).
What any of this has to do with THIS blog, I'm not sure. But I'm sure I'll think up something eventually.
Maybe I'll do a crappy movie review, or talk about the crazy shit I make out of Linguica.
Because it's awesome.

Speaking of greasy shit
I want people to go out and actually make this thing, because I'm still not sure if this was great or horrible, and I want some feedback.

First, figure out how many of your friends want to take the plunge with you and try this. It looks like something straight off of ThisIsWhyYou', and I'm inclined to think it's probably featured on there somewhere.
But sadly; I came up with this MOSTLY on my own. Some elements are borrowed from The Luther Burger3 and Jim Gaffigan. (props, yo)

Now go out and find your closest grocery store and buy that many single glazed donuts.
Not Krispy Kreme, Not Entenmann's.
Those are too fancy for this.
You want those giant, fluffy $0.30c ones they sell at the grocery store bakery. (Not a word on "bakeries", dollhau5). The later you get there after the bakery has actually closed, the better. You want the glaze to be slightly stiff so they grill properly.
Yes I said grill. Sit down.

Next duck over to the Frozen Meat aisle and find the burger patties.
Sure, you could make them yourself from ground beef, egg and bread crumbs, but I already yelled at you because you tried to spend $3 on donuts.

Pick up some bacon. Pick up some sliced ham (not "honey" or "brown sugar", too sweet with the donut).
I also grabbed a Good Old Fashioned American Yellow Onion(tm), but you can skip that if you're dating me and hate onions.

Now go home, put on your apron (and Eatin' Pants) and get ready to caramelize a donut.

Slice your donuts (or donut if you have no friends) in half and set it aside. You could do this later, but I don't feel like backspacing all this to fit it in someplace more logical to the cooking process.

Start cooking the bacon and the burger patties on separate skillets.
Even if you're not doing a lot of bacon, or got smaller bacon that you know is going to shrink a bit through cooking, still use a slightly large pan for it. You'll be using this one again.

Cook the bacon so that it's still soft and flexible. I'm of the opinion that crunchy bacon does not a good burger make.

When the bacon is done (and I'm assuming it'll be done first for you, before the beef, because the beef was probably frozen if you're doing this last minute like I did), move it off and let it cool a bit. Then drain off some of the bacon grease.
But not all of it.
Try to time this so that the donut finishes about the same time the beef patty will.
Grill the donut lightly on the outside, in the bacon grease, until the glaze begins to caramelize a little.
Flip it over and just brown the inside to your liking if you want to.
Take it out and set it aside for a minute.

Remember a few steps ago when I forgot to tell you to prep the onion if you bought it? Do that now.
Cut it in to rings like you normally would for a burger, then sweat or sautee them a bit in what's left of the bacon grease, also throw in a slice or two of the ham.

While that's cooking down, I like to put a little dijon or yellow mustard on the donutbun.

Compile the burger when you're ready and -enjoy-.

Have some wetnaps handy, too. Or at least a damp towel. I don't think napkins or paper towels can really stand up to this thing.

And that's a Donut-Ham-Hamburger w/ Bacon
Tell me what you think. I'm really curious.

[1]: read: lame
[2]: My LJ, add me
[3]: Wiki: The Luther Burger

Mommy, what's reality?

Dreams are our gateway to another world. A world where the impractical and impossible alike become reality. A world where surrealism can rule or an alternative and outrageous truth can exist. Our most-desired of either allegiance or lust (at times one-in-the-same) can become our lovers and we alone can achieve self-sustained flight among the clouds. Who wouldn't want to live a place like that? Some on this planet do in fact live a life that most would describe as a all out "dream world" though, but we tend to refer to those select few persons as psychopaths, coma patients, or someone who're all "hyped-up" on drugs. Reality is only what an individuals tells or forces themselves to believe (sometimes delivered by others in a form of brainwash). But what an individual is taught to believe is almost always communicated through the popular consensus shared within a society. But what one is taught to believe is not always correct- or is it?

Let's give an example: A girl in a small society is brought up to believe that playing a very important and key role in the survival of her society is to be sacrificed on her 18th birthday. Another much larger society outside of the sacrificial one's belief structure learns of their others ways and takes action to "save" the girl by kidnapping her and assimilating her into their own culture. The girl truly believed that all her life, along with the people in her society, that her willing sacrifice would aid in the growth and continuation of her people; despite this the other society removed her from her surroundings. Who's in the wrong here? The girl and her society or the one disturbing the other's being. Sure most people would say the group killing another would be in the wrong, but what if the roles of the societies were reversed; the sacrificial one being the larger ruling society, and the other being the small minority one. And let's just say you belonged to the deleterious society and the other one tried to stop your practice (keep in mind the girl is willfully doing this)- you'd probably disagree with the opposition and maybe even get a little pissed yah?

We can all do things to bend what we know as reality though, be it on tiny or huge (sacrificial?) factors; all it takes it a little self-conditioning. Say a significant other starts singing  in the car and instead of telling them to shut the hell up, their other half decides to just tough it out and grit their teeth as their companion unleashes a furious melody on their ears. The person negatively bearing the sounds eventually grows more and more agitated by person singing and this causes them very unnecessary stress (even though they could easily still say stfu, let's take the other route) ultimately making their present condition unpleasant and their overall life slightly shorter. Instead of being annoyed though, they could easily teach themselves to be tolerant, and maybe even fond of the other person's singing. All it takes is for one to concentrate and control their thoughts: cool down, empty your mind, and tell yourself that there's no real reason for you to express distain towards the other person's singing. Some may call this an act of "lying to yourself" but is it really? After all what sounds "good" to us is usually brought on by our cultural upbringing anyways. I mean look at the crazy shit which some people refer to as music!

Shaping our minds into believing other things, in effect making them fact (because what is "truth" anyways besides what we are brought up to believe as right or wrong) is hardly impossible. But to do it on a level where "up" physically becomes "down", or where I can have my deepest desires delivered to me on a whim is harder to do. Just one reason I envy those trapped in comatose or living in a world of psychotic delusions. To them the world can actually be "right".


The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.
-Ezra Pound